Falling Tears...
Today, May 5th 2005... my baby died. :(
It hurts me as I write this. As I write, I start to breathe hard and tears just fall down. I can't even type....
We were together for almost 3 months. Everything was perfect. No one knew about me and him going out. They just knew we were talking. I spoke about him before in my blog.
His name is Angel. Funny how his name is Angel huh? First time we met, me CLICKED!! And I never thought that my feelings for him would come out the way it did. I fell really hard for him just as he did for me. The thing that killed both of us was the fact he had to go to Miami. I begged him to stay as well as his cousin who I am very close to from High School. But he wanted to follow his heart instead of his mind. His mind was saying to stay in Boston, but his heart was telling him to go to his mother. However, his mom knew the situation he had down there, so why bring him back to it. He was trying to get away from what he was involved in years ago. And him showing his face brought him trouble down there. Well... now...(long pause, falling tears) he's gone.
I would talk to him and say how much I miss him. How much I needed to see him. He would tell me the same. I was his wifey he would always tell me. I know it sounds to early to feel all these emotions, but we felt like this for a long time. I blame myself for this, but his cousin said I shouldn't. Just Tuesday night we were talking, and he mentioned on buying me a diamond ring. I told him no. But he insisted in buying it, even though I said he didn't have to how many times. Yea, he knows I always wanted a diamond ring... but I didn't want him to get it... Today...he went to a jewelry store in Miami to buy the ring even though I said he didn't have to. As he walked out from the store to the car, someone calls his name out and shoots his 6-7 times. Died instantly...
WHY????? PLZ TELL ME WHY??? He was a good person. Yes he has done some wrongs in the past, but he was young and naive. He didn't know better, but he finally realized he didn't need the life he was in. Moved to Boston to change. Was a smart MAN!! Got a job in the Law firm for a yr to raise money to go to college in Sept. (long story of why he didn't go before) He had his own place, own his own cars (4...no lie...he dragged race to win two) he had his head on his shoulder, knew what he wanted in life, was in LOVE with GOD... went to church and prayed... and this is what he gets? I have been crying for 3 hours straight. I just hated the way it came to me. I felt something was wrong today... and when I came back to my dorm, I found a message from his cousin online. His boy from Miami was telling his cousin to tell me. They knew the deal between us, but I didn't know they knew so much. There were things that I didn't know either. He called his cousin(the one i knew since high school) and told her to tell me...
He loved me, that he cared for me so much. I had him open up and understand his mind and did the same. He never had a girl that would make him feel the way he does...etc. And then the next day, which is today... he died. WHY?? I just want to know WHY??
I just want my baby to know, I care for him so much. He knew so much so quickly that it was scary. He understood me... just like my best friend who died. I opened up my heart to him that I never thought I would again. I just wish you never left boston... I just wish I was in your arms the whole night. Now I won't be able to feel his touch, his lips...hear his voice because of this stupid shit.
Just WHY??? WHY him?
.:crying:.
It hurts me as I write this. As I write, I start to breathe hard and tears just fall down. I can't even type....
We were together for almost 3 months. Everything was perfect. No one knew about me and him going out. They just knew we were talking. I spoke about him before in my blog.
His name is Angel. Funny how his name is Angel huh? First time we met, me CLICKED!! And I never thought that my feelings for him would come out the way it did. I fell really hard for him just as he did for me. The thing that killed both of us was the fact he had to go to Miami. I begged him to stay as well as his cousin who I am very close to from High School. But he wanted to follow his heart instead of his mind. His mind was saying to stay in Boston, but his heart was telling him to go to his mother. However, his mom knew the situation he had down there, so why bring him back to it. He was trying to get away from what he was involved in years ago. And him showing his face brought him trouble down there. Well... now...(long pause, falling tears) he's gone.
I would talk to him and say how much I miss him. How much I needed to see him. He would tell me the same. I was his wifey he would always tell me. I know it sounds to early to feel all these emotions, but we felt like this for a long time. I blame myself for this, but his cousin said I shouldn't. Just Tuesday night we were talking, and he mentioned on buying me a diamond ring. I told him no. But he insisted in buying it, even though I said he didn't have to how many times. Yea, he knows I always wanted a diamond ring... but I didn't want him to get it... Today...he went to a jewelry store in Miami to buy the ring even though I said he didn't have to. As he walked out from the store to the car, someone calls his name out and shoots his 6-7 times. Died instantly...
WHY????? PLZ TELL ME WHY??? He was a good person. Yes he has done some wrongs in the past, but he was young and naive. He didn't know better, but he finally realized he didn't need the life he was in. Moved to Boston to change. Was a smart MAN!! Got a job in the Law firm for a yr to raise money to go to college in Sept. (long story of why he didn't go before) He had his own place, own his own cars (4...no lie...he dragged race to win two) he had his head on his shoulder, knew what he wanted in life, was in LOVE with GOD... went to church and prayed... and this is what he gets? I have been crying for 3 hours straight. I just hated the way it came to me. I felt something was wrong today... and when I came back to my dorm, I found a message from his cousin online. His boy from Miami was telling his cousin to tell me. They knew the deal between us, but I didn't know they knew so much. There were things that I didn't know either. He called his cousin(the one i knew since high school) and told her to tell me...
He loved me, that he cared for me so much. I had him open up and understand his mind and did the same. He never had a girl that would make him feel the way he does...etc. And then the next day, which is today... he died. WHY?? I just want to know WHY??
I just want my baby to know, I care for him so much. He knew so much so quickly that it was scary. He understood me... just like my best friend who died. I opened up my heart to him that I never thought I would again. I just wish you never left boston... I just wish I was in your arms the whole night. Now I won't be able to feel his touch, his lips...hear his voice because of this stupid shit.
Just WHY??? WHY him?
.:crying:.
posted by Seksi at 11:30 PM
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